


Some Nights

by scarletskies



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: M/M, Romance, not sure if angst or fluff, yamajima - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 21:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5602150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletskies/pseuds/scarletskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They have to come to terms that they weren't each other's firsts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 02/02/2013.

“Yama-chan, are you still awake?” A soft voice asked.

“Barely, Yuto-kun. Why?”

Yamada knew he really didn’t need to ask. Seconds later, he hears blankets being rumpled, and slight shuffling of feet, and the next thing he knows, his other side of the bed dipped, and he feels himself being pulled towards a familiar warmth.

Yuto had always been like this when they room together, even when they were little. The younger boy would always climb into his bed, crawl under his blanket and steal his sleeping space. It used to annoy him (because really, he was tired as well! And he needed sleep!) but then Yuto would wrap his arms around his waist, and the only thing he would feel is the comfort, the _warmth_ , lulling him to a deep sleep (with really wonderful dreams, most of the time).

Yamada closed his eyes, and concentrated on feeling the other boy’s heart beat. It was slow and steady, and that was all he needed to know. He found himself slowly falling into sleep, when Yuto spoke, his voice so low and soft, Yamada wondered if he was just dreaming.

“Yama-chan,” the soft voice repeated.

“Can’t sleep?” Yamada asked back, his voice equally soft. His brows furrowed a little when he hears Yuto take a deep breath. “Is ther-“

“Who was your first, Yama-chan?” There was not a hint of hurt, jealousy, or anger in the question. Just plain curiosity.

Yamada tensed at the question. “We should not be talking about this right now, Yuto.” He answered stiffly, trying to turn away from the younger boy as much as he possibly can. Yamada gives up when Yuto pulled him back, and placed a kiss on his shoulder.

“Who was it, Yama-chan?” Yuto asked again, the gentleness never leaving his voice.

“It-it doesn’t matter!” Yamada stammered. He was young and immature back then, fooling around and having fun, and he made a mistake, and he had always regretted it. “And it’s not like I’m your first either.” He adds bitterly as unbidden images of Yuto and a _goddamn_ girl kissing and hooking up filled his mind. Yamada swallows hard when Yuto’s hold on his waist loosens a bit.  “I’m so-sorry. I didn’t mean it like that…”

Another deep breath. “It’s okay, Yama-chan. I brought it up.” Yuto tightened his hold against Yamada’s waist again. “You hate it when we try to talk about that. I should be the one’s who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Yuto placed another kiss on Yamada’s shoulder as an apology.

“Let’s just go to sleep, okay? Let’s talk about this some other time.” Yamada relaxes a bit into Yuto’s touch. _Let’s talk about this, when I’m ready, okay?_

“Hmmm,” Yuto hummed in agreement. _I’ll wait when you’re ready, Ryosuke._

“Then, good-“

“Do you think we’d last fore—I mean, for a long time?” Yuto asked so suddenly, Yamada was taken aback.

“Is it okay to believe…we’d do?” Yamada asked back softly, and he feels butterflies in his stomach as a familiar fuzzy feeling enveloped his heart. He would love to spend his nights curled up against the younger boy, and he would love to wake up to see Yuto smiling at him. He wanted to believe everything would be all right, as long as Yuto would be there to hug him and hold his hand…

He tries to blink away the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes. God, he hated it when he becomes as sappy as Yuto.

Unconsciously, he turned toward Yuto and burrowed his face into Yuto’s chest, and started crying.

“Hey, it’s okay…” Yuto runs his hand up and down Yamada’s back as he comforts the older boy. “I didn’t mean to…”

“You’re an idiot,” Yamada managed to say as he continued to cry.

“But you love me, right?” Yamada can tell Yuto was smiling.

“Idiot.” Yamada chokes on his words. “I hate you.”

“You know Yama-chan,” Yuto waited for Yamada to calm down a little, never breaking their embrace. “If you think we’d last forever, then…”

Yamada peeked at Yuto, and waited for him to continue. “Then what?”

“Then it doesn’t matter if we’re not each other’s first.”

“Yuto…”

“It would be an honor to be your last, hmmm?” Yuto kissed Yamada’s forehead. “Goodnight Ryosuke.”

Yamada burrowed his head back to Yuto’s chest. “Good night idiot.”

_I love you.  
_


End file.
